mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
tell me about the fingering
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
