no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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