he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
