I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
