Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
