Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
