why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
