Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
