He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
