I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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