Jerry, you need to find god
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
