I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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