Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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