I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
