he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
