Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm eating all of the evidence.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
