You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
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I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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