I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
