I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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