it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
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He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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