Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
