the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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