I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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