i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
