What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
