the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize