you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
