what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
