Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
