Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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