Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
