It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
