You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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