Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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