I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
