I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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