oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
