His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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