Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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