We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
