so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just gift wrapped bread.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
