There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
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