he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
