You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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