whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
