What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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