Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
