Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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