you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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