I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
