do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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