he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
