Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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