Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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