i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
