There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
