hell yes lets make some ravioli
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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