shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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