Say something about gay babies.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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