ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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