Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
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